What Does A Submissive Do?
by Ms. Ryan of www.alphafemdomphonesex.com
If you Google something like "What is a submissive?" you'll get thousands upon thousands of results. And then, if you take the time to sift through some of them, you'll find that there are hundreds and hundreds of different answers given for that question.
In fact, it's one of the topics most hotly debated in the kink community. You'll find several variations, of course. "What is the difference between a submissive and a slave?" or "How is a service submissive different than a regular submissive?" and such as that. But even someone who is new to the whole thing can easily see that the definition of a submissive is something that nobody can agree on.
So how do get a definitive answer to that question, if the people who have the most experience with this sort of thing can't come to an agreement on what a submissive is? Well, we can pull out our dictionaries for an answer, but the dictionary definition is probably not going to involve the D/s version of the word "submissive"...unless you've found yourself a very liberal dictionary. You can turn to psychology for answers, but you'll soon realize that they've got just as many differing opinions about what it means as the BDSM community does. So that's not much use, either.
Rules for the Submissive
But I suggest that "What is a submissive?" is the wrong question. Instead, we should be asking "What does a submissive *do*?" Behavior is much easier to describe than labels, that's for sure!
So what *does* a submissive do? In my world, a submissive *submits*.
It sounds like a simplistic answer, but it's not. A genuine submissive doesn't only submit when they want to or when what their Mistress wants coincides with what they want. A submissive obeys their Mistress's commands, unless they're somehow dangerous or illegal (and a good Mistress would never ask something like that of her sub).
In addition to simply obeying commands, a genuine submissive doesn't whine or otherwise try to worm out of doing what they've been told to do. They can certainly ask questions to clarify what they're supposed to be doing, but they never use those questions as a stalling tactic. They also perform their tasks in a timely manner and to the very best of their ability, and if they can't manage to be cheerful about doing what they're told, they can at least refrain from sulking.
Submissives Obey their Mistress
Genuine submissives submit to their Mistress's authority, obey commands, and do their tasks throughly and promptly. They also never put their wants and wishes above their Mistress's. They are there to submit, to serve, to make their Mistress's life easier, not to create more problems for her to deal with. They take pleasure in her pleasure. They will happily accept a reward when it's given, but they never expect one or beg for one.
As I said, a submissive *submits*, regardless of the circumstances (barring something very unusual, of course). Everything else they might do or say or think or feel, any labels they may wish to apply to themselves...it's all secondary. If they're genuinely submissive, they submit. That's all there really is to it.