How to Find the Perfect Sensual Domination Mistress
By Miss Rachel of www.sensual-domme.com
Here at LDW, we cater to many kinks and fetishes, and there's an ideal Mistress with whom each playmate can explore them. In fact, there's likely more than one Mistress who would be a good match for you. It's not always the best idea, however, to decide who that Mistress or those Mistresses may be based only on how hard her photos, blog posts, or audios make your cock. Those things are helpful, of course, in sussing out a Mistress' specialties and personal interests, but it's still important to establish some (semi)realtime connection with her first, either via E-mail, Yahoo Instant Messenger, or Skype chat (there's usually a link to one or all of these on a Mistress' bio connected to a given site, and often on her blog). Why is this so important? Read on.
Chemistry and Style are sometimes hard to discern without direct contact.
I make these suggestions based on my own experiences. I may have always been destined to be a dominant woman, but I still had things to learn when a beginner at sharing my appetites with others, particularly over the phone. The fact that the D/s dynamic requires more than just lust as an ingredient is one of those lessons.
There have been so many times that a prospective playmate has called me, excited to have reached me based on the anticipation he built up over hours, days, weeks, or even months of reading my blog posts, the reviews other playmates have left recounting satisfying times they've spent with me, lurking around my contributions to our social network, Enchantrix Empire, or salivating over my photos, only realizing once we began to speak that something was "off".
Maybe he prefers not to talk much, but he's connected with a Mistress who thrives on an interactive playmate. Whether it's that she works best as part of a roleplay, or that she simply needs some small indication (a moan, a word or two, etc., ) that he's getting what he needs from the session, or even that he's still there and the call hasn't been inadvertently disconnected, many a Mistress would like to know in advance that your communication styles are compatible.
Maybe he wants a Mistress who likes to shout, but the Mistress with whom he's connected rarely raises her voice above a conversational tone. Maybe he expects the D/s dynamic to be more of a costume one puts on, and wants to be able to assume certain familiarities (calling a Mistress "baby" or "sweetie", asking personal questions, interrupting her when she talks) until the play has actually begun, while the Mistress he has selected is turned off by that behavior and expects D/s etiquette to be observed from first contact. Such differences in "style" can cast a pall over a session, or even derail it all together.
Don't get me wrong--most Mistresses will try to make the best of any situation, but if you hang up and find yourself less than satisfied, and surprised about it because everything you saw beforehand would have lead you to believe you'd have the time of your life, consider whether or not you took the time to connect with your Mistress first, and discuss chemistry.
Everything is Relative.
I chose to share my thoughts on this site specifically, because I have directly experienced misunderstandings based on what sensuality entails, what domination entails, and what the two together entail. I like to describe myself to prospective playmates as an iron hand in a velvet glove. Some tend to think that a sensual Mistress is the same as one who offers the GFE or girlfriend experience, the same thing as a sex kitten, but that maybe she's on top while you fuck, and is just an aggressive lay. That might be true for some of our ladies, because many are quite versatile (femdom switch), but it isn't true for me. Even if I purr while giving my instructions, I expect complete obedience, and I very rarely, if ever, have direct sexual contact with submissives (like sucking their cocks or fucking them or letting them lick my pussy with no creampie in it). These are just a few examples of reasons why it can be a good idea to try to connect with your Mistress rather than simply calling first. Most of the time, your Mistress will try to offer you the best phone sex experience you've ever had, regardless of what ever hiccups there might be in communication, but if you're the type who's sensitive to chemistry and might discern that something is missing when it's not there, contact with your Mistress first can allay most fears.